
I have done other things i will take to the grave with me, but did not involve death or hurting anyone. Me being so emotionally controlled and steadfast, it was easy to look like i had nothing to do with it, but inside i was hurting. My carer found the dead gerbil and according to his words the other had nibbled it´s way out of the cage, so he set up mouse traps for it to catch it. No one ever did find out i killed it, i placed it back in the cage and went on my day like nothing happened, but i felt really bad inside, i felt terrible. I slammed it against the radiator until it could no longer move.Īt the time i was not emotionally or mentally stable clearly. My new carer bought me 2 gerbils, and i killed one. Same age i had moved foster parent, i had massive pent up anger, abusive childhood and day in day out bullying at school, no excuse.

I am not a gay guy or bisexual, at this point though i was very vulnerable. My need for affection had grew and i gave off sexuality instead. Painful but i ended up sleeping outside of the bedroom on a mattress to split us up. In foster care things really took off in this direction, I ended up hugging this other lad and the next time my social worker came he shamed me and said i attempted to have sex with him. I was unsure, i needed some love, physical love, but it hinged on a sexual side too, i would be 13 years old at this point. No abuse took place and no one was hurt well perhaps except myself at some point but i will try to explain. Odd things around sex and power struggles.

I have all 3 prominent and i had an issue with sexuality, well not so much issue but i had to express it when i was much younger.
#Lilith battery buddy full
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